I am extremely fortunate that I don't mind change. I am a person who doesn't like to do the same thing every day. I like new adventures, I like new people. I like change! And... I have been going through a lot of changes recently. Over the past few years my life has become very different. And I don't mind at all.
I was divorced a few years ago, which completely changed everything. I had to take some time to decide what I really wanted if I was the only focus. What do I want to do if I can do anything I’ve ever dreamed of. This was all new for me. I always had other people to think about. I've always had other people to support, financially and emotionally. I have always made sure that what I wanted was in alignment with what my family needed. Not so anymore. For the first time in my life, I am living in a place where I can make decisions based solely on what I want.
This had never been true for me before, not ever. I was married very young and had my first daughter at 18 years old. I was a 50-year-old newlywed when my youngest daughter went off to college. I had never lived alone in my life, until two years ago. This is crazy to realize I had never lived alone before. It's actually pretty scary, but also the potential is unlimited. What do I want to do with the last third of my life? The sky is the limit.
At the time I got divorced I've been working very closely with Bill Cortright and Stress Mastery. I had clients that I was coaching working on my stress mastery coaching certificate, building up a social media presence and doing the stress mastery podcast every week. What a wonderful life, working to fulfill my life purpose. I have always wanted to help people be the best version of themselves, starting with myself. Everything was just flowing in the right direction. Living life on purpose. But then suddenly, once again, everything changed. Stress Mastery was no more. This was the platform I had built my life on.
What to do? What to do? What to do?
All my life I have wanted to be a teacher or a nurse. If you've read my book, you'll see how my parents discouraged me by telling me that we came from the wrong side of the tracks and that I would never go to college. I had to get that dream out of my head.
When I was widowed in my 30s I decided to go to school to be a nurse. After all nurses pay two to three times more than a teacher and both jobs would have suited me fine. Much to my dismay I realized that I was no better at science in college than I was in middle school. Science does not come easy to me. And you have to have a great understanding of science in order to get through nursing school. In fact at the time, you had to have straight A's in science just to be accepted in nursing school. In my quest to help people I studied human development and received a Bachelor of Science. I could do one more year to become a teacher or one or two more years to become a counselor. I started working on my master’s degree in teaching. After paying a great deal of money for the first semester of tuition at a private university, I found out from the teacher that there were no jobs in the area. If I was to be a teacher when I graduated, I would need to and leave the area and perhaps even the state. I had to make a new career choice. I was not in any position to move. I had two very young grandchildren and a daughter in middle school. It wasn't a good time to leave the area. I became an insurance agent. In time I became an excellent insurance agent. That has proven to be one of the best decisions I've ever made in my whole entire life. What I gained from that experience is beyond what I can explain in this blog post. It did change my life for the better. And it has changed me forever.
So back to my predicament now. A few months ago, after my great loss, I decided to go to the college to find out about getting into nursing school here in Arizona. Things are different here. Firstly, they go by your whole GPA and not just your science GPA. Fabulous! My GPA is just fine. Nursing jobs are abundant, and you can always get a job being a nurse. So even though I won't be older I will still be able to get a job. I don't have kids to take care of, and I will not be working while I go to school like I was last time. I decided finally this is my time to try again. So I signed up for a biology class and a statistics class this winter. These are two of the prerequisites I need. I would just have two more classes this summer and then an entrance exam that I’ll have to pass. OK I can do that. And it's true I can do it. I am halfway through and I have an A in both classes. But you know what, still not good at science and this math class is not my cup of tea. My head hurts from all the thinking. Honestly it feels like it's full of mush and I can't get any more in there. I realize that I do not want to spend the next three years studying this hard.
You know when somebody tells you that you can't do something, and you just want to do it even more? This is how I can relate to the feelings that I have right now. I realize that I feel such a sense of accomplishment knowing that I actually can do it – and that that's all I really need. Just knowing that I can, is enough for me. I am 62 years old and I don't want to spend three years cramming and studying. There are so many other parts of my life that I don't want to miss out on. I do not want to give it all up. I know that when you're in nursing school, being a nursing student is all you have, it is your life. You hear that from everyone. And it's very understandable. You have school full-time and then you have a whole bunch of paperwork and records that you have to keep. And then you have labs and all of the science that you have to understand. I realize that is not what I want. The best part is that I'm deciding to quit on the plan, not because I have to. Not because it's too hard for me. Not because I can't do it. But because I choose not to! My being able to make this decision is a testament to how much I have grown over the past few years. I have always been afraid of what people will think. I've always told myself you are not a quitter... you will finish this no matter what. Right now, finally, I don't care what anybody thinks. I will make decisions on myself and not based on others.
I’ve decided to switch my major again and concentrate on getting a teacher certificate and a job in teaching. I have so much to offer. I have a ton of life experience and a heart full of love. I know so much about how to find peace in the chaos. My coaching experience and the time I have spent with Bill Cortright has been an enormous blessing to me and my family and has made me a better person. I feel compelled to share what I have learned, and this knowledge can and will change lives. We are blessed to be a blessing to others, and I would love to carry on his legacy. Stress Mastery has been his life's work. Continuing to carry the torch, I will create a shift in the planet. I am certain I will make an excellent teacher if I decide to follow that path.
Currently, I'm brushing up my resume and exploring the possibilities. Meanwhile, I am loving the biology class and will probably finish that out. I don't feel the same about the statistics class. I really will not need statistics in my future, at least I don't think I will, I haven't so far in life. I may give myself permission to drop that class.
I sometimes laugh at myself when I think about it. I'm 62 years old and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up! I am so grateful for the opportunities I have; the possibilities are limitless! There is just so much that this life has to offer. I remember going to a career development class clear back in my 30s and the counselor asked me what I like. I remember telling her I like everything, everything is interesting, I like absolutely everything. Some things never change. 😊
Find your purpose and keep working towards it. You will never run out of things to do, or to learn, or to see. Don't get stuck in your ways and always be willing to change.
Live every day on purpose!
Peggy Romero